Resources
On this page you’ll find resources and books that clients have found to be helpful.
Therapies I Use
Psychodynamic Therapy
The American Psychological Association has a brief description of Psychodynamic Therapy. This article also describes the relative effectiveness of Psychodynamic Therapy, how it works, how long it takes and how it compares to psychoanalysis.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a highly validated approach to couple therapy that helps couples to shift destructive, repeating negative patterns in their relationship and achieve deeper intimacy, trust, and relationship satisfaction. EFT first helps partners work together to identify and overcome the automatic, negative cycles of interaction that arise from sustained emotional hurt and misunderstanding, and corrode the couple’s ability to trust in a secure connection. Once the couple’s negative pattern of communication has been identified and overcome, EFT supports couples in developing new and effective ways to communicate, listen to one another and meet each others’ needs. From this place of increased security and emotional safety, partners begin to reconnect productively, and work to renew vitality, connection, and intimacy in their relationship.
Mindfulness/Meditation
Below are some resources for learning and practicing mindfulness meditation, which has been shown to be effective in alleviating anxiety, stress, depression, and pain.
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction classes at Kaiser Oakland
8-week mindfulness meditation courses offered to the public. This course is based on the methods developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Spirit Rock Meditation Center
The practice of mindful awareness, called Insight meditation, is at the heart of all the activities at Spirit Rock. They provide silent meditation retreats, as well as classes, trainings, and study opportunities for new and experienced students of meditation.
Green Gulch Farm/San Francisco Zen Center/Tassajara Zen Mountain Center
These Zen practice centers offer daily meditation, regular monastic retreats and practice periods, classes, lectures and workshops open to the public.
Recommended books on mindfulness and meditation:
Meditation for Beginners, by Jack Kornfield
"Insight" or Vipassana meditation is the time-honored skill of calming the spirit and clearing the mind for higher understanding. Kornfield, one of the founders of Spirit Rock Meditation Center, offers a straightforward, step-by-step method for bringing meditation into your life.
Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness, by Jon Kabat Zinn
Based on Jon Kabat-Zinn’s renowned mindfulness-based stress reduction program (MBSR), this classic, groundbreaking work—which gave rise to a whole new field in medicine and psychology—shows you how to use medically proven mind-body approaches derived from meditation and yoga to counteract stress, establish greater balance of body and mind, and stimulate well-being and healing.
When things fall apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron
The beautiful practicality of her teaching has made Pema Chödrön one of the most beloved of contemporary American spiritual authors among Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike. A collection of talks she gave between 1987 and 1994, the book is a treasury of wisdom for going on living when we are overcome by pain and difficulties.
About Psychotherapy
How to find help through psychotherapy
Article from the American Psychological Association.
Recommended books on psychotherapy:
Schopenhauer’s Porcupines: Intimacy and its dilemmas, by Deborah Luepnitz
Luepnitz recounts five true stories from her practice, stories of patients who range from the super-rich to the homeless and who grapple with panic attacks, psychosomatic illness, marital despair, and sexual recklessness. Intimate, original, and triumphantly funny, Schopenhauer's Porcupines goes further than any other book in unveiling the secrets of "how talking helps."
Hope and Dread in Psychoanalysis, by Stephen Mitchell
Stephen A. Mitchell, a central figure in the modernization of psychoanalysis, shows how the field is moving beyond the confines of Freudian drive theory to encompass the concerns of contemporary life.
Relationships / Marriage / Sex
Recommended books on relationships, marriage, and sex
The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country’s foremost relationship expert, by John Gottman
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love, by Sue Johnson
Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
Come as you are: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life, by Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski argues that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. Furthermore, all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it.
Happiness / Wellbeing / Compassion
Recommended books on happiness/well being/compassion:
The art of choosing, by Sheena Iyengar
Sheena Iyengar asks the difficult questions about how and why we choose: Is the desire for choice innate or bound by culture? Why do we sometimes choose against our best interests? How much control do we really have over what we choose? Iyengar's award-winning research reveals that the answers are surprising and profound.
The paradox of choice: Why more is less, by Barry Schwartz
In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz explains why too much of a good thing has proven detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being. With the latest studies on how we make choices in our personal and professional lives, Schwartz offers practical advice on how to focus on the right choices, and how to derive greater satisfaction from choices that we do make.
The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are, by Brene Brown
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown, a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she's learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living -- a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.
Parenting Support
Recommended books on parenting:
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be effective with your children. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
When partners become parents: The big life change for couples, by Carolyn Pape Cowan & Philip A. Cowan
When it first appeared in 1992, this book became an instant must-read on the lists of new parents and family studies professionals alike. Its message is just as relevant, just as timely, and perhaps even more important today. As indicated in the new foreword, by John M. Gottman, and in the updates and new afterword provided by the authors, the transition to parenthood remains one of the most challenging periods in adulthood.
Maternal Desire: On children, love, and the inner life, by Daphne de Marneffe
Supermom is at the end of her rope. Maternal Desire shows mothers who work a full-time job and take care of their family that there is another way. The author explores maternal enjoyment as she does maternal anxiety, and offers not just understanding but the exhilaration of seeing a universal frustration discussed clearly for the first time.
Good Inside: A guide to becoming the parent you want to be, by Becky Kennedy
Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. Offering perspective-shifting parenting principles and troubleshooting for specific scenarios—including sibling rivalry, separation anxiety, tantrums, and more—Good Inside is a comprehensive resource for a generation of parents looking for a new way to raise their kids while still setting them up for a lifetime of self-regulation, confidence, and resilience.
Women’s Wellness
Recommended books on women’s wellness
The wisdom of your body, by Hillary McBride
Hillary McBride explores the broken and unhealthy ideas we have inherited about our body. Embodiment is the way we are in the world, and our embodiment is heavily influenced by who we have been allowed to be. McBride shows that many of us feel disembodied due to colonization, racism, sexism, and patriarchy--destructive systems that rank certain bodies as less valuable, beautiful, or human than others. Embracing our embodiment can liberate us from these systems. As we come to understand the world around us and the stories we've been told, we see that our perspective of reality often limits how we see and experience ourselves, each other, and what we believe is Sacred. Instead of the body being a problem to overcome, our bodies can be the very place where we feel most alive, the seat of our spirituality and our wisdom.
The menopause manifesto: Own your health with facts and feminism, by Jen Gunter
Jen Gunter argues that menopause is not a disease - it's a planned change, like puberty. And just like puberty, we should be educated on what's to come years in advance, rather than the current practice of leaving people on their own with bothersome symptoms and too much conflicting information. Knowing what is happening, why, and what to do about it is both empowering and reassuring. Frank and funny, Dr. Jen debunks misogynistic attitudes and challenges the over-mystification of menopause to reveal everything you really need to know.
Moderate Fee Psychotherapy
The Psychotherapy Institute
is a non-profit multi-disciplinary organization of mental health professionals dedicated to professional education and growth. For more than 30 years TPI has provided affordable psychotherapy to San Francisco Bay Area residents as well as continuing education and advanced training to psychotherapists.
Access Institute
is a community training clinic that offers low and no-fee psychological services.
I hope you find these resources helpful.
Contact me to schedule an appointment.